Letting Go of Toxic People : PACER Integrated Behavioral Health Quickstart Guide



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Letting Go of Toxic People : PACER Integrated Behavioral Health Quickstart Guide
Live discussion with Dr. Dawn Elise Snipes on coping with anxiety and depression and other physical and mental illnesses with an integrative behavioral health approach . (#gaslighting #relationshipadvice #codependency )

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A toxic relationships is one that is “very harmful or unpleasant in a pervasive or insidious way.”
Cookie metaphor
Toxic behaviors
Inconsistency
Unresponsiveness
Inattention
Lack of validation
Self-centeredness

Lack of support
Gaslighting
Controlling
Dishonesty

Allow yourself to grieve the loss of the person and the illusion
The toxic person is not willing to change or is not able to be the person you want them to be… (Their stuff not you)
Begin the detox process
Admit you are powerless over this person and with them in it, your life had become unmanageable
Make a list of all of the ways that person negatively impacts your life (PACER)
Identify the ways the person positively influenced your life or what they provided and other ways to meet that need (Maslow)

Block the person from your life to prevent random reinforcement (social media, phone, text)
Have a plan for dealing with inevitable contact
Be prepared for the craving/extinction burst, selective memories (the good ones), rationalization and self blame
Develop distress tolerance skills to deal with the craving
Practice PACER prevention and mindfulness
Write a letter to the person saying goodbye*
CRAVES
Consistency
Responsiveness
Attention
Validation
Encouragement
Support

HACKER
Honesty
Awareness
Communication
Kindness
Emotional Intelligence
Respect

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