Don't Worry, No One Cares



We’re often held back by a crippling fear that we can’t possibly do certain things because other people will judge us. But for those of us hemmed in by self-consciousness of this kind, there is very good news on the horizon. Amazingly, partly depressingly and partly redemptively, in reality, no one much cares…
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“We tend to begin our lives with a deeply unrepresentative experience: that of being surrounded by people who care to an extraordinary extent about us. We look up from the dreams and confusions of early infancy and may find a smiling face or two observing us with the utmost tenderness and concern. They watch us as a rivulet of saliva leaks slowly from the corner of our mouth and rush to wipe it away as if dabbing at a precious canvas, then indulgently stroke the fine soft hairs on our delicate scalps. They declare us close to supernatural when, at last, we succeed in pulling our first smile. The applause rings for days when we take our initial steps, giggle, totter, fall, and bravely try to resume our progress. There is astonishment and beatific praise when we arduously manage to form the letters of our own name. Throughout the early years, the big people intelligently coax us into eating broccoli or peas; they make sure we put on our rubber boots when it’s raining; they dance around with us to our favourite songs, they tuck us up and sing to us when we’re feeling sad or unwell. When we’re anxious, they try very sensitively to find out what might be the matter…”

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27 thoughts on “Don't Worry, No One Cares”

  1. This is what I always say to people who are feeling self conscious. Think about how little you think about other people’s clothes or hair or how they say things. That’s exactly how much they think about you!

  2. 1:39 I really like the idea of how much the universe didn't care that I did not exist in the past 13,8 billion years and equally how much it won't care that I won't exist for much of the coming 13,8 billion years. My insignificance gives my quite a lot of ease of mind.

  3. Your mind basically plays tricks on you. How much longer before you realise that your mind is not you. Its this beautiful yet annoying parrot that wouldn't stop running commentary even when you're asleep. It doesn't always care about logic and so can happily guide you into shooting yourself in the foot.

    Separate yourself from your mind and be in the driver seat of your life. You owe it to yourself to take charge

  4. I think I have issues because I DO think about random people and care about what others are doing… literally every thing he mentioned people not caring about I’m the kind who does. So, I just assume others are like that too. I’m on the spectrum, I’ll chalk it up to that🤷🏻‍♀️

  5. As a depressant and former suicidal person, take it from me- nobody cares until you're gone. Only then, it's temporary- you will be forgotten soon. Truth hurts. In such a populated, fast-paced society, everybody is too busy trying to be heard that there's zero room for your problems.

    So suck it up, buttercups. I had to.

  6. "That night you played me
    'Lip Parade'
    Not the needle, nor the thread,
    the lost decree.

    Saying nothing,
    that's enough for me.
    And at once I knew
    I was not magnificent

    Hulled far from the highway aisle
    Jagged vacance, thick with ice.
    I could see for miles."

  7. The trouble is I do scrutinise/observe and remember others. It is part of an analytical side of my personality. I don’t necessarily judge, but I definitely pick things up that I suspect the person would prefer I hadn’t. and so I assume others who are similarly analytical and observant (not everyone) are the same toward me.

  8. Glad to see comments from personal, real-world examples, and the improvements people brought for themselves through thinking.
    I'd just like to add that once I realized that it's pretty much statistically guaranteed that there is always someone in any group — workplace or otherwise — who will dislike you (and others) as it's their nature, it was a moment of freedom to me. Someone clearly doesn't like you? Oh well! Plenty more people around.
    Also: it's hard for anyone, especially an introvert, to somehow not worry about imperfections or how others judge you, but thinking ahead: do you even want people in your life that would just keep judging you? Hell no. So why would you even care about that type of person? Only care about those who like who you are, as you are. If you don't, you allow "toxic" people in your life that disguise themselves as friends, acquaintances, etc., perhaps unintentionally, and any interaction only develops that relationship. The opposite effect of what you want. The best you can do for yourself is to let people like that fade away and break off, and naturally, whoever is left are people who are compatible with you, right? People who simply like who you are. Everything just works out on their own without any effort or worry. One really has to learn to not care. But knowing that it's not only a way to feel less stressed but that it actually results in a preferable outcome makes it much, much easier, and after a while, you develop to have no desire to want to please anyone.
    Towards the opposite sex, I think it's only natural to be even more self-conscious. But one thing I learned a while ago was to keep reminding and telling myself (e.g. in a workplace), "Hey, I'm not even looking for a girlfriend!" and that allowed me to just not care what they think. They won't be in my life, not in any close way, and definitely not long term as colleagues are a temporary thing in one's life.

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