Arguments in relationships are always tricky but given that they are also inevitable, the skill we need to learn is how to fight well rather than not fight at all. By ‘well’ we mean, with charity, compassion, understanding, humour, intelligence and good will. Here is a guide to the best sorts of arguments in relationships.
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“There are couples that seem never to argue. Their relationships are marked by enormous outward politeness; they say thank you a lot; they make each other cups of tea; they can look rather horrified when there’s a mention of a squabble in someone else’s life. It’s understandable if they’re privately a little pleased with themselves.

But surface harmony isn’t, in reality, any reliable sign of health in love because it’s impossible to try to merge two lives without regularly encountering deep sources of incompatibility. A lack of arguments is more likely to be a sign that we have given up caring than a superhuman achievement of maturity.”


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Produced in collaboration with:

Lois de Silva