Why do I want to be hugged & cared for? | Kati Morton



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Hi Kati and Kinions! I hope you are having a great day. So I asked a question during the live stream on Friday, May 27. Kayla: Why do I love being called “my dear/sweetie/honey” by my therapist and teacher? No one in my family does it, so it is special? Thanks so much, Kati for answering me! You were right! I do want that affection. My family life is crap. My parents are abusive and my family hates me. I am a burden to them and my mental illnesses bother them. I have been watching your videos for a few years now. And I am just becoming a member on your site (I was scared to come on here and might bother/burden others). So I means a lot since it was my first time asking a question…Anyways I have a follow up question if that is okay. I don’t want to bombard you with my annoying questions…So my question: How do I get over the fantasy of being cuddled and hugged? I want to hug my therapist. I have hugged her a couple times before and she is fine with it. But I want someone to take care of me, like my therapist/doctor/fictional character from a TV show/even some teacher. How do I stop fantasizing about this? I never act on it, but I think about it all the time. WEBSITE http://www.katimorton.com
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39 thoughts on “Why do I want to be hugged & cared for? | Kati Morton”

  1. I used to love my former therapist and I wanted to get back to therapy with her, but she doesn’t want to answer my messages because she knows I like her. But the fact she ignores me makes me feel rejected and unwanted.

  2. ??? We need to HEAL from wanting someone to love us, care for us and give us physical affection? Wtf? To me it's totally normal that when this is something missing in your life, for example because you have no close friends, relationship, family etc. you start to fantasize about it because it is something that you are missing. This is considered a problem now? I don't understand.

  3. this is litrally something i have never ever wanted. I dont think i really like being touched. As I've never really been touched I'm not really sure but im pretty certain. Though it might just be a fear of the strange or unknown. Anyway you never missed what you never had im sure

  4. I'm literally the exact opposite. I do NOT like hugging with the exception of girlfriends/romantic relationships with women. As a kid my parents showed affection so rarely that I could probably count on one hand how many times I've hugged each of them in my life (that I'm able to remember). Of course I was always forced to hug grandparents/aunts/uncles when we'd visit but I absolutely hated it and still do.

    The real kicker is that about 6 months ago I started hanging out with a friend from work and I've recently become very close with his whole group of friends and all of them are huggers and I hug every single one of them when we say goodbye and it drives me insane.

    I have absolutely no desire to physically contact anyone that I'm not attracted to and frankly I don't really see the point. Is that normal?

  5. strongly dislike this take. humans are social, affectionate creatures. wanting to be cuddled and cared for comes from being a human, exacerbated by living in a society which strongly limits our access and understanding of platonic physical affection

  6. I know this video is 3 years old but as a new subscriber I had it in my recommendations. I can't relate to what you are saying here at all. I want to be hugged because I'm lonely. I used to be in a relationship, hugs were part of everyday life and hugging my girlfriend/wife made me feel good. Simple as that. Now I live alone and I miss that feeling. I don't think I need to fix this. I think it's normal and very human to desire physical signs of affection.

  7. I haven’t had a single good touch (hug, hold hands, cuddle, etc) in a very long time. Both of my parents work and I’m out of school and only work weekends so I’m home alone all day. I’m also single so that makes me very isolated from human contact. I feel very lonely and depressed. There’s a spot in my heart that’s empty on love

  8. I think my mom is a narcissist. I always felt alone as a child. I used to cry when they used to act like I dont exist. I used to talk to a painting while my whole fam chatted together. I have always craved love. I am a love addict. I just want someone to take care of me. I hope I have money to get therapy one day

  9. I have high functioning autism. When I was a little child, Mom had to bribe me with popsicles for hugs and cuddles.
    The only family member that I hugged and cuddled with all the time was my Grandpa.
    Now that he is gone, I find that I get attached to certain people.

  10. its been 24 years oct 11th and id give anything for one of my moms hugs. one more phone calls..she had my back. its why i got my psych degree i promised her id finish what i started do good for abandonded kids. i did. i miss her. she taught me its okay to be me…my weirdo self. i dont mind being alone. i was an excellent counselor. i loved each and every child. i hope they all found someone who deserves them.

  11. Why is it wrong to want to be hugged and taken care of? Lmfao just find someone who wants to do that for you. There’s nothing wrong with you you don’t need to be fixed. Affection and support is a NEED. If it’s not being met it’s NORMAL to crave it. Humans are a social species!! Gosh. This lady gets paid for telling people there’s something wrong with them for wanting care and affection?

  12. Yes and no ….i feel very ambivalent about this, yes I've daydreamed about having hugs and to be comforted ALL THE TIME for…..many many many years, but in real life I just…..can't
    I actually remove myself from touch in real life and try to avoid it, even though I crave it ….. It's a rollercoaster

  13. For me I actually have had a lot of love from my parents and physical contact like cuddling and hugging but now that I’m growing up and they aren’t giving me as much physical love I really need someone to hug and touch and I usually only want it from a certain person. But it’s weird if I ask that person because we aren’t at that point yet

  14. I have a question. My boyfriend tries to love me and I only push him away. I was raised by an alcoholic father who mentally abused me by yelling at me and just downright making me oppressed and depressed. It has followed me into adult hood. Any time my sweet boyfriend tries to love me or do any thing for me, I ask him why are you doing this? I don't deserve this. And no matter how much he reassures me it doesn't help. I try and tell myself he does love me and I deserve it. I cannot change no matter how hard I try. I feel like it's really unfair to him having to deal with my moods and everything and me pushing him away. He deserves so much better than me. I feel like I am draining him. He's such a loving person and very empathetic. If only I could be better for him but I can't do it. I have tried so very hard. I keep telling him, begging him even, to get away from me and find someone who can love him how he deserves to be loved. He refuses to saying he loves me. I honestly don't know what to do. Part of me wants to just pack up and leave, and be out of his life because he deserves better than me. Please help.

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