Keeping Jealousy From Destroying Relationships
Feeling jealous at times is normal but when that jealousy gets out of control is when you need to start worrying about it. When it gets to the point that it adversely affects relationships is when you need to curb these feelings. Each person will handle jealousy in a different way, however, there are some universal ways that can be used in order to help conquer jealousy before it ruins a relationship.
You Need to Understand Jealousy
Jealousy happens to be a highly complex emotion and it is an emotion that often stems from the person being insecure or they have a fear of losing control over a situation. For instance, a person might have low self-esteem and start worrying that they might not be good enough for their partner. Their biggest fear might be that they will leave them for another person. So when they see their partner talking to another person say in a bar or any social setting they automatically will assume that the worst is about to happen. This is where the jealousy will begin to come into play. The jealous feeling can then lead to jealous behavior like extremely angry outbursts or a firestorm of wild accusations.
A Person Must Learn to Notice Their Jealousy
When a person becomes aware of their jealous feelings they are taking the very first step toward learning how to keep these feelings under control. When a person learns to notice that they are feeling jealous, it’s important that they stop for a moment and accept their jealous feelings, then take time to observe how they affect them and then relax by taking some deep breaths and literally count to ten slowly. They then need to tell themselves that their jealous thoughts aren’t the same as “reality”. They need to realize that when their partner is talking with someone else that they more than likely are just being friendly and not flirting.
Should Communicate Their Fears
In order to conquer jealousy, it’s going to require some honesty and this means having an honest conversation about how they feel with their partner. It’s a lot healthier to talk about their negative feelings than to end up revealing them through angry actions. It’s important to have this honest conversation with their partner when both are calm and receptive. They should try and explain how they feel without making any harsh and false accusations. They should reveal their needs clearly by using “I” comments such as “I feel somewhat insecure when you spend time with others and not be on the weekends.” Then they should calmly ask to arrange some fun time together with just the two of them and no one else.
It’s important for them to calmly raise specific concerns about aspects of their relationship that tend to bother them but do it without accusing their partner of something and they should also be non-demanding when raising their concerns and fears.There is nothing wrong with admitting that they may feel jealous sometimes when they spend more time with a friend than with them. But this needs to be done in a calm and loving manner and not fly off on some wild angry rant. When a person is honest and open up to their partner it can help them feel closer to them and the closer one is to their partner the more the jealousy will subside.
Need for a Confidence Boost
There are some simple exercises that a person can do that can help them to improve their self-esteem, and they will help lead to much greater security within their relationships and there will be a less chance that jealousy will take control. It’s important for the person to make a list of all their good qualities, strengths and their achievements. Once the list is made they should keep it someplace safe and then refer back to it on a regular basis. It will serve as a reminder of all the reasons why their partner is lucky to be with them. It’s important that they treat themselves with love. It’s also important for them to eat healthy, exercise on a regular basis and get plenty of good sleep. Jealousy can often be brought on by stress and poor health, so it’s important that they take care of themselves. It’s also important to surround themselves with people who are caring and supportive. Another good thing to do is to learn different relaxation techniques like yoga or meditation.